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Right of first refusal

A parenting-plan clause requiring a parent who needs childcare during their time to offer that time to the other parent before using a sitter. Disputes over it are worth documenting precisely.

What right of first refusal means

Right of first refusal is a clause some parenting plans include: if a parent needs childcare during their scheduled time for more than a set period, they must first offer that time to the other parent before arranging a sitter or other care. The idea is to maximize the child's time with a parent rather than a third party.

In practice the clause generates disputes, usually over its triggers: how many hours count, what notice is required, and whether it applies to overnight work or short errands. Because the terms are specific, so is the documentation. Recording exactly when care was needed, whether the offer was made, and how the other parent responded is what makes a violation provable.

Example: if your plan requires offering time when care is needed for more than four hours, logging that the other parent used a sitter for a full workday without offering you the time, with the date and any message, captures the specific breach rather than a general complaint.

Whether a plan includes this clause and how it is worded varies widely, so document against your plan's exact language and let your attorney assess whether the threshold was crossed.

Related terms

Parenting time / Visitation
The schedule of time a child spends with each parent under the order or plan. Deviations from it, late, missed, denied, are the most commonly documented custody events.
Custody exchange / Handoff
The scheduled transfer of a child between parents. A frequent friction point, and one of the most useful things to document consistently: time, place, and how it went.
Parenting plan
The document setting out the custody schedule, holidays, exchanges, decision-making, and often how expenses are shared. The baseline your documentation gets compared against.

Keep reading: How to Document Custody Violations (So Your Record Holds Up), or return to the full glossary.

This definition is general information, not legal advice. Terms and their exact meanings vary by state, county, and case; for how this concept applies to your situation, consult a qualified family-law attorney.