Keeping a co-parenting record in England and Wales

Separated parents in England and Wales can keep their own dated record of arrangements, contact and costs, and if a case reaches court it usually goes in through a witness statement with exhibits, not as a log on its own. The terms to know are child arrangements order (where a child lives and who they spend time with), parental responsibility, and MIAM, the mediation meeting you usually attend before applying to court.

This page covers the law of England and Wales only. Scotland and Northern Ireland are different: GOV.UK says the rules for child arrangements differ there, and in Northern Ireland, for example, parents apply for a residence or contact order. Use mygov.scot or nidirect, and speak to a solicitor in that part of the UK.

The terms to know

Child arrangements

Where the children will live, how much time they spend with each parent and how you support them financially. GOV.UK says these are sometimes known as child custody or child contact.

Child arrangements order

A court order regulating with whom a child is to live, spend time or otherwise have contact, and when (Children Act 1989, section 8).

Parental responsibility

The legal rights and duties relating to a child's upbringing, such as providing a home, protecting and maintaining the child, and agreeing to medical treatment.

Consent order

An order that makes your agreement legally binding. It is signed by both parents, and a judge or magistrate reviews it.

Specific issue and prohibited steps orders

A specific issue order settles one question, such as which school. A prohibited steps order stops a step, such as taking the child out of the country.

MIAM

A Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting with an accredited mediator, who explains mediation and helps you decide if it is right for you.

Where cases are heard

You can apply to the family court if you have parental responsibility, and other relatives can apply too. GOV.UK says it costs £270 to apply and usually takes around 10 months to get a court order, depending on where you live and your situation. You can apply online or with form C100.

The child's welfare is the court's paramount consideration, and delay is treated as likely to harm it (Children Act 1989, section 1). The welfare checklist includes the child's wishes and feelings in light of age and understanding, and their physical, emotional and educational needs. The court also presumes, unless the contrary is shown, that a parent's involvement will further the child's welfare, where that parent can be involved without putting the child at risk of harm. Involvement does not mean any particular division of time.

Cafcass advises the court. A Family Court Adviser gives safeguarding advice, and the court can ask for a report if a case goes beyond the first hearing.

If an order is not being followed, you can ask the court to enforce it with form C79, which also costs £270. The court may not enforce it if there is a good reason or if something different is better for the children.

Mediation and help before court

You will usually need to attend a MIAM before you apply to court. Each parent attends their own, and GOV.UK gives around £120 as the usual cost. If you attend and your ex-partner does not, you can still apply. You will not usually need one if, for example, you have evidence of domestic abuse, your children are at risk of harm, or the application is urgent.

Most of the evidence listed for a domestic abuse exemption comes from others, such as the police, a court or a health professional. The list also covers evidence of abuse relating to financial matters, without saying what form it takes. Ask a solicitor or mediator what would count for you.

You can usually get a voucher worth up to £500 towards mediation, regardless of what you earn. It usually pays for at least 2 sessions, it cannot be used for the MIAM, and you and your ex-partner share one voucher. Ask an accredited mediator to apply. The Family Procedure Rules update extends the scheme to 31 March 2029.

You may be able to get legal aid for a MIAM and mediation if you are on a low income. If only one of you qualifies, it covers the MIAM and the first mediation session for both parents.

Keeping your own record

Your record is for you first, whether or not you ever go to court. Note the date and time, who was there and what happened: handovers, changes, missed time, school and medical matters, and each expense with its receipt. Stick to what you saw and heard.

The family court rules we read do not name a log or diary as something you file. Your evidence goes in a witness statement, which should if practicable be in your own words and in the first person. Documents are attached as exhibits, with a front page listing them and their dates (Practice Direction 22A).

Much of the raw material stays out of the hearing bundle unless the court directs otherwise or a specific document is necessary: emails, text and WhatsApp messages, voice notes, bank statements, notes of contact visits and photographs (Practice Direction 27A, paragraph 5.2). The court also has the power to control and leave out evidence (Family Procedure Rules, rule 22.1). So treat the record as a working tool, and choose what matters with your solicitor.

On weight, the hearsay factors in the Civil Evidence Act 1995 include whether a statement was made at the time and whether it was edited or made for a particular purpose. In one reported family case, [2023] EWFC 124 (B), the judge said a parent's journal could be a running log or a campaign, and noted the limitations of self-curated evidence. Writing calmly and from the start matters more than how a record looks.

No app decides how much weight a court gives a record. As a general guide, it helps to write things down close to when they happened, to keep the whole picture and not only the difficult days, and to keep anything independent that supports it. If you are thinking of recording calls or conversations, get local legal advice first.

Step by step: keeping a journal you will actually maintain | tracking shared expenses

What has changed recently

The presumption of parental involvement was still in section 1 of the Children Act 1989 on legislation.gov.uk on 7 November 2026. The Government's Courts and Tribunals Bill would repeal it, so check the current position before relying on it.

Child Focused Courts, formerly Pathfinder Courts, are being expanded across England and Wales. In March 2026 the Government said they operated in 10 of 43 court areas, including all of Wales.

Official resources

• Making child arrangements if you divorce or separate, GOV.UK
• Make an agreement through mediation, GOV.UK
• Apply for a court order, GOV.UK
• Child Maintenance Service, GOV.UK
• Children Act 1989, section 1, legislation.gov.uk
• Practice Direction 3A: Family Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings
• Help for parents, Cafcass
• Children and living apart (Scotland), mygov.scot
• Attending family courts (Northern Ireland), nidirect

Frequently asked questions